NOBULL TRAVEL | 10 OCTOBER, 2017
NoBull Travel: Week of 9 October
As a spirited cow mooving through this chaotic world, I decided to take livestock of myself and go on a grand journey around the world. A journey that would take me to places old and new, a journey to discover and most importantly a journey without any bull(s). In this weekly humour travelogue, expect to see travel tips, misadventures, chewing of cud, food recommendations and reflections as this lone cow navigates her life outside the proverbial cow shed.
Monday: #MondayMisadventure at Destination Anywhere
This #mondaymisadventureis about a stream of cowsciousness over 16 hours spent in basic economy. As a cowmunist, I find the term cattle class so offensive! Below are the 16 hours I spent flying from HK to YYZ.
Hours 1 to 5: The sweet overconfidence. Sure I can do this. There's movies and food and a semi-cowmfortable chair. I've done this before and I can do it again!
Hours 5 - 6.5: The first hurdle. that first nap. A broken sleep that tires you more than it restores. But this is still early stages so you are foolishly optimistic. Let's watch friends and Juno for the 18th time and relive some good times! Let's eat a deliciously inedible mushy dinner reheated to perfection.
Hours 6.5 - 7: a nap that feels like a few hours at least! What a rude shock that it's been a paltry 30 mins.
Hours 7- 12: The active questioning of self. is business class really that much more expensive? Can I put a price on my moontal peace? A quick trip to the bathroom reveals what monsters jet lag make. Time for another long nap.
Hours 12- 13: The mutiny of body: a prolonged sleep but Legs and neck starting to give out on you. No matter what position, movie or neck pillow, the revolt has begun. No amount of free food and booze can alleviate this. Is it too late for an upgrade?
Hours 14: a regained cownfidence. The end is near! A quick stretch and a victory lap around the cabin. There is a bed in my future!
Hours 15: Fill out forms, twiddle thumbs, write posts about hours on flight, dream about a world without cabin pressure
Hours 16: Begin watching something incredibly interesting moments before landing is due to take place.
Tuesday: #Cowabouthat? at Istanbul, Turkey
This week’s #cowabouthatcomes from wildly interesting Istanbul! Here’s a city that is the best kind fusion experience and consistently delivers outstanding food, travel and photo ops!
Pictured here is the Hagia Sophia Museum (Drop the H and G while pronouncing it for extra street cred). What I really loved about this spot is its endurance. Girl has stood the test of time and how! Well yes, the spots has been multiple avatars and gone through many changes. Its been a lavish church, a stunning mosque and well now a hotspot for millennial tourists!
But through it all, I love how so many people thought to find this spot special enough to build monuments on, defend, celebrate and worship! Come for the architecture, the splendid dome, its expansive interiors but stay for the gorgeous mosaics, the feeling of calm and the enduring significance of a place in vogue since 532 AD. See human history unfold for yourself and feel cownnected to a larger divine authority!
Fashion they say comes and goes but the Hagia Sophia never goes out of style #cowabouthat?
Wednesday: #DutyfreeforHumpDay at Changi Airport, Singapore
Oh no! Here it is again. Its that proverbial bump in the road! Hit the brakes for #DutyFreeforHumpDay
Something to remind you that the important things of life should be availabull without the burden of local taxes.
Pictured here is the atmospheric duty free store at Changi Airport. Take in its edgy demeanour, revel in its many gifts and splendours and whip out that credit card for purchases unneeded. Set in Black and White hues to aptly capture the solemn occasion, feel the need to be greedy at the DFS store in Singapore!
Please show us your boarding pass with your purchase and feel #bullessed
Thursday: #4TummyThursday at Istanbul, Turkey
Unbuckle that tight notch on your belt and wear some stretchy pants! Its #4TummyThursday. As you recowl, Tummy #1 is for snacks, appetisers and small bites. Tummy #2 is for pasta and other carby delights. Tummy #3 is for sweets and desserts. Tummy #4 is a standby tummy for extra servings for Tummys 1-3!
Today we travel west, to deal with my hunger pangs for Tummy #1. Or is it east? Welcome to Istanbul, where the sun never sets on cowality food and chai! As someone who enjoys the act of dipping something into something for a meal, Istanbul speaks loudly to my mezze mania.
Here is my irresistabull mezze meal for one, wonderfully cowstomised by the staff for me. I love a good meal that’s #handeaten and #handcrafted, makes me wish I had hands! #handeaten ensures I am involved with my morsels, that my cellphone is far away from grubby fingers and my mind is transfixed on the next dip delight!
Pictured from left to right is a spicy zucchini with tomato and cheese, followed by a fried aubergine, followed by a yoghurt dip with garlic herbs and finally marinated olives! These foods are soothing to the soul, comforting to the spirit and loving to your waist lines, Lick your black lips and exercise those finger muscles. Tear that fresh bread, double dip if noone’s looking and enjoy the passerby's food envy. Nothing quite like being fed by med!
Mezze won’t keep you satisfied for long so make sure you pack in a little dessert into your tasting menu. What dessert you ask? Tune in next Thursday for #4TummyThursday!
Friday: #TheCowShed at Paris, France
TRANSIT: We interrupt your regular scheduled programooing as a transit is occurring today.
Don't panic. This isn't the final boarding call though. Come back for more NoBullity tomorrow.
0n a side note, Charles De Gaulle Airport upgrade is amoozing!
Saturday: #WeekendMilkTip at Rome, Italy
Today's #weekendmilktipcomes from the eternal city. That brotherly ancient city that will make you wonder why we ever built skyscrapers. In Roma, be sure of one thing. them Italians know their stuff! Be it the food, the Vespas or the mooseums, leave it to them to moo you. So today's tip is simple, one said many times before! Learn from the locowls!
Whether its restaurant and pasta recommendations (Cow do you think I ate a #handmade fettuccine from a locowl hotspot last night?) or a tour, learn from them! I booked a guided tour for my tour of the Vatican. I was guided by a delightful Igor of @citywonderstours who along with carefully mooving me across the Vatican sights, gave me that delightful and humorous insight I couldn't find on a webpage. From gossip into conclave proceedings, legends and miracles to an intricate understanding of Michealangelo's greatest hits, the locowl insight will give you that perspective that your trip advisor won’t.
So here is pictured the thrilling St Peter’s Basilica in all its domey glory and along side, a flag of knowledge, direction and well the #weekendmilktip
Sunday: #DayofGraze at Paris, France
Today’s #dayofgraze is about the art of coffee. Best enjoyed alone, black and in a small cowntity.
Watch the rain pour down in dreamy Paris. Order yourself an espresso and have a quiet moment to yourself. Do some people observations. A cownversation overherd. An outfit admired. An expression analysed. The coffee has arrived! Take in the smell and hold between your paws/hands. The first sip is nothing short of magic. Appreciate that smell, taste and feeling of a warm coffee on a cold day. Watch it all go by as and be as involved as you want to be.
On this Sunday, a day of relaxation and paws, enjoy that cuppa before the week is uppa.