The attractive cover, designed by artist Abhijit Chakraborty, with a lit matchstick and another burnt, says the book is ‘from India’s bestselling romance author’. A blurb on top says, ‘This book will reassure you that you’re not alone in heartbreak’ (Jerry Pinto).
Flipping over the back cover, and some of the pages at the end, I read that the author had suddenly lost vision in one eye a year prior to writing this book. She says, she ‘was able to see (her) life with clarity and find purpose in pushing through the tough time.’
The completion of this book, therefore, was proof that one ‘can refuse to be a victim when life lets us down’.
The chapters begin with some practical do-it-yourself advice tips when the chips are down. The people interviewed— it surprised me that she met so many people with multiple partners and heartbreaks; where and how did she track them down?—all had romanced someone who ditched them unexpectedly.
The first essay, ‘On a Personal Note’ is the one I liked most. In the hospital where I once worked, I had seen a patient succumb to ‘heartbreak syndrome’, so I knew what she was talking about.
After that, the do this, do that writing was like reading one’s favourite Agony Aunt column. Men, women, transgenders, the stories of their loves and breakups indicated, to my middle-class Indian mind, that I was out of phase with dating, Tinder and having regular or casual sex with partners who aren’t spouses.
When I was young, we ‘went around’ with someone, ‘dating’ was a word from Archie comics. The exercises like writing a compassionate letter to yourself from before the relationship are not something that would appeal to a discerning reader who might have picked up the book to read whilst waiting for a flight.
It is unlikely that this book would interest a railway passenger. I hope I’m wrong, because the examples she has given, over the chapters, show how much sorrow and despondency is brought about by romantic breakups.
One cannot put oneself in their shoes, but one can understand the sense of injustice and longing that rankles long after a relationship is severed. In the end, human relationships, emotions and thoughts cut across class, gender and nation. Vohra has made us understand the universality of sadness, the trials of living through a difficult and possibly unjust phase and that there are people who have gotten out of it over time. How did they? That one has to read to find out.
Surely, though, there are people who have found happiness after going through a bad marriage? These cases are of people who haven’t got any stable relationship, long term, but have ended up being comfortable living by themselves.
The language is easy and allows to enter the minds of the persons written about.
For example: ‘My nature is very different. I feel I am not normal. Normal people, they want to get married. I used to shy away from it. Nature, boys, girls, all animals, I felt love for everything.’
Another paragraph: ‘I met Bela on the train. Much later I realised how low the odds of us meeting were. It was Bela’s first time on a train in Kerala; her family had spent many years in Muscat and just returned to their native place. She started talking to me while waiting for the toilet to get free. I was brushing at the sink outside but of course I offered to let her use it first.’
Or, ‘Then he goes back and marries this ugly girl and produces a baby within a year and three months. You know what hurt the most even when I thought nothing could hurt me anymore that I was already hurting? Looking at the live stream of my Chandru’s wedding on YouTube. I watched it numbly. We had promised each other we’d tell each other about everything good. He sent me the link to the event.’
Whilst the author has taken the trouble to explain Hindi terms in English along the way, some words like mubarak ho, ji milte hain, sapota, roka shoka, bhav and mard have been missed. On page 93, the name Aman cropped up, and I could not figure out who that was. My bad, if I haven’t understood something. Words like ‘fuck’, ‘shit’ and ‘crap’ might have been actual words used by the interviewees, but they could have been replaced or removed in places, because overuse irks.
There are several blank pages in between, which should be taken note of if and when there is a reprint.
All in all, this book has taken a lot of effort to cover a topic rarely covered in non-fiction. Non-romance, one could call it. Good wishes to Milan Vohra for a sequel, too.
Heartbreak Unfiltered: Things Nobody Told You About Love, Loss and Letting Go.
Written by Milan Vohra.
Published by Rupa Publications New Delhi, 2025.
Price: Rs. 395.