Dear Bhagwatji,

I write to you as an Indian citizen, having known many from your organisation over the years. There was a time when the Govindacharya’s and the Advani’s and the Seshadhri Chari’s would actually engage in conversation about the RSS with us non-believers (now all in the larger category of anti-nationals) without frothing at the mouth, but then even for the Sangh time passes, no matter how you cling on to it. And today, there is no conversation---that’s over and done with--- only threats, and abuse, and hate, and venom.

Anyways back to the more important issue---the shorts. I am writing because I am worried. Seriously so. Why is the RSS discarding the khaki shorts that so characterised you and the warriors? It cannot be convenience, as shorts take less material, are easier to work out in, and those who wear them (of course not the khaki variety but that big store kind of stuff) insist that trousers seem a liability when you get used to the half length.

So is it vanity? Seems like that somehow, as many of your men are now ministers and perhaps feel uncomfortable with bare knees. More so, as many of them---when we examine photographs of the past---have those week kneed legs that certainly do not lend themselves to credible pictures of figures of authority. And these stupid photographers insist on taking full length pictures, when above the waist should have been sufficient. Yes, that actually makes sense. In government half shorts are sort of a little deja vu---if you know what I mean.

After all half shorts have been justified by you as being easier to work out in, more friendly to physical exercises. Khaki is a colour you took from policing to instill discipline in the cadres. And now this media---oh dear what are you going to do about this media---is actually suggesting that not only will the dress change to full pants but will be grey, the Dalit blue, and now the latest, brown. Why are you so tired of khaki Bhagwatji? Oh I know, this must again be pressure from the Ministers who are enjoying the luxury of government while you are still sweating it out in Nagpur, as khaki full pants with a white shirt might make them look like the cops they control. Now that is a matter of ego, and that cannot be insulted. I mean how can Union Home Minister Rajnath Singh take a salute wearing the same uniform as the men marching in front of him---well almost.

Now that’s understandable. I am glad I sat down to write this letter to you, as it has been very inspirational. I am getting answers to the questions even as I raise them.

And I can quite understand the debate, that is keeping you rather involved, about the colour. It took some time to agree to full pants, now these colours again show signs of indiscipline in the general body that must be worrying. Surely it cannot be the blue, this would suggest a camaraderie with the Dalits that many in the organisation would balk at. Grey? Hmmm. Very Christian missionary school don’t you think? No good. What about brown? That could work. But, what about saffron? Now that’s a good colour, and will help the women members many of whom already have these saffron saris that they don on special occasions. Given the association, it will spell out exactly what the RSS stands for, and believes in without taking away from the discipline. Oh? The Ministers might not like wearing orangeish trousers, no no I am sure you can convince them about that.

Thataway you will have it all, as per the old adage(!), that a man is known by the clothes he wears. And you will rightfully claim the saffron in the national flag as yours. I don’t know if you want to do that, as you do have your own flag, but even so, it’s a thought worth considering.

I am intervening in my identity as a woman, and being a woman I am good at housekeeping. And housekeeping does include such womanly things like colours and clothes so I thought I would do my duty and chip in, and help let you off the hook as it were. I do know where i belong, but then I am hoping that you will take my advice even though I am an Indian who believes in the Constitution, a Muslim who still has not realised that Pakistan is her only destiny; an anti-national who still believes that the Constitution of India is the last word, a journalist who does not believe in morphed videos and lies, and a woman who believes in equality inside and outside the home.

So let it be full length trousers in saffron then, and in a world where dress and packaging matters more than content perhaps this will be the deliverance. I would have said dhoti but I read one of the RSS members saying somewhere that the dhoti is not particularly conducive to physical work. Can you imagine mobs in dhotis? Difficult I think. But then--- i am sure you will excuse me for the question----what will the women wear? Saris? I guess but do think of Capris as well. With kurtas, of course! Saffron capris look good I assure you, I have one too and might be encouraged to don it once every now and again.I know no one is talking about the female cadres, but perhaps this mention might encourage you to factor them in. Somewhere? Somehow? No? Okay forget it, who cares for these women any way.

With regards,

Namaskar!!

A lowly woman.

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