THE CITIZEN EDITORIAL | 25 SEPTEMBER, 2017
NoBull Travel: Week of 25 September
THE CITIZEN EDITORIAL
Welcome to NoBull Travel!
As a spirited cow moving through this chaotic world, I decided to take livestock of myself and go on a grand journey around the world. A journey that would take me to places old and new, a journey to discover and most importantly a journey without any bull(s) In this weekly humour travelogue, expect to see travel tips, misadventures, chewing of cud, food recommendations and reflections as this lone cow navigates her life outside the proverbial cow shed.
Monday: #MondayMisadventure at Ontario Highway 401, Canada
Today’s #mondaymisadventure is brought to you by the sun and moon. #NoBullTravel views the 2017 eclipse! Touted as the last total solar eclipse that you would see in your lifetime…*whispers* if you lived the rest of your life in North America, you would think that the solar eclipse isn’t a naturally occowring phenomena with a fairly regular recowrrence!
Coming off the tail end of a weekend in Moontreal, I am on a bus headed to Toronto, on the day of the solar system stunner. Sure, I knew that the eclipse wouldn’t be total, but the excitement was anything but partial. This day was ripe for misadventure, a hurried moober ride to the bus station and the very real chance of not having a window seat to the celestial spectacle of our time...*whispers* if you lived the rest of your life in North America. Through the kindness of fellow travellers, I found myself at a window seat, bull-dozing off as we made our way down a expansive highway 401 to the city of CN tower. At 2:30 PM I jerked awake with an alarm! I gaze out the window to expect to see the beginnings of a miracle of the universe when all I saw was traffic! Further, without special viewing gear and the US presidency, how could I take a peek at the most incredible solar blocking phenomena of my life...*whispers* if I lived the rest of my life in North America. A few unsuccessful attempts at taking pictures and videos with my eyes closed ensued, but to no avail. Stuck on a highway with no way to view the eclipse hovering overhead, what udder bad luck!
It is usually in these moments of constraint that white-hot inspiration strikes! It comes to me in a flash! “Pinhole Camera!”. 8th grade physics, you beauty! I pull out a page from a notebook and by poking a hole through the page with my earring stud, I fashion the most mobile pinhole camera that ever was. Pictured here is the eclipse, enjoyed and savoured in a Megabus and stuck on a highway! The marvels of the Milky Way and the importance of being crafty known to me that Monday!
Tuesday: #Cowaboutthat? at New York City, USA
Today we discowver the summer craze of North America! What a cowntrast to the tropics! A treat for the eyes, ears and your Instagram followers! Through my extensive investigations, I have discowered that there are usually 3 cowponents to this summer craze. Firstly, we need a summer drink, pictured here is an emblem of the North American summer, the Frozé, the attempt to make an alcoholic beverage more alcoholic! The summer in a glass. Take equal parts of wine and childhood favourite, the slushy and ordain them in a happy marriage with a strawberry as witness and voila! The Frozé is ready for social media and your cownsumption! What better to pair your frozen wine with than music for the sun-kissed days?
Let’s move onto the second piece, the moosic. Switch on the radio for current musical obsessions despacito, strip that down and passion fruit because #yolo #cantstopwontstop #summerfun. I once cownted upto 8 times that despacito was played because that’s how they do it down in puerto rico?
Lastly, set of for a picturesque destination, perhaps the cottage or the beach and melt your worries away with black ice-cream on the boardwalk! Don’t forget to gram em!
For cowntries that feel so much cold and need so many coats and hides, I love their fondness for the Summer. In the tropics, the last time you enjoyed the summer was school vacay! #Cowabouthat?
Wednesday: #DutyfreeforHumpDay at Hong Kong International Airport, Hong Kong
Here we go! Another bump in the weekly road! It’s #DutyFreeforHumpDay. Something to remind you that the important things of life should be availabull without the burden of local taxes.
Pictured here is a beauty shot of the Hong Kong Duty Free store. Marvel in its mighty awe-inspiring shelves, its senses-dulling light scheme and breathe in that aroma of moderately inexpensive cognac! Is it here that all your transit dreams come true? Probabully not. Carry a big bag around that says DFS on it and feel #bullessed
Thursday: #4TummyThursday at Toronto, Canada
Continuing our theme for #summerlovin, today’s #4TummyThursdayis all about summer sweet. This delightful dessert is rocking and rolling its way into people’s hearts and tummies all over the world, including my Tummy #3! Hello #rolledicecream!
After a long day wandering the alleys and streets of Toronto's Kensington Market and upping your cool quotient, cool down further with a bite of Frosty Roll’s rolled icecream. Nothing makes me happier than a made to order handmade meal for one! Order from one of 8-9 amoosing ice-cream combinations and flavours and watch your sweet cheat come together in front of your big wet eyes! Made with fresh fruits, a cold plate and a large spatula, this ice-cream is fresh, fascinating and gone in minutes! A treat for the eyes, tummy and even ears as your ice-cream is mixed, tossed, chopped, spread out and rolled to circular perfection!
Pictured here is the sour and sweet white chocolate and strawberry swirl that made my stomachs dance! Cownsume quickly and savour forever!
Friday: #TheCowShed at Toronto Pearson International Airport, Canada
TRANSIT: We interrupt your regular scheduled programmooing as a transit is occurring today.
Don't fret, this isn't the final boarding call. Come back tomorrow for your next dose of nobullity.
Saturday: #WeekendMilkTip at USA and Canada
This week's #weekendmilktipis about two legs good, four legs better! Make time for all kinds of animals you could meet on your travels. I’m sure humans rank highly on your list of travel cowmpanions, but I recommend you broaden that list to include some quadrupeds. It’s always exciting to meet the locals when you travel and for me, I love the chance to sit down with my bovine, canine and feline brethren to get a sense of what’s shaking, barking, meowing and mooing.
Pictured here are a few friends I've made on my travels. The golden retriever life force, Bella in New York, the happy little Penny the puppy in Jersey City, the cool and quirky frenemies, Mass and Lynx in Toronto and of course my extended family in the Canadian countryside! We’ve shared insider tips, stories of our families, our cultures and even where we each are on our life journeys! They’ve taught me a lot about their cities, their humans as well as all the hotspots for walks, food and grazing!
No-one can make you feel like part of the pack like my animal Amis!
Sunday: #DayofGraze at Crawford Lake Conservation Area, Canada
You know how us cows chew constantly? How we chew the cud of our food digesting it for the second time to really get all those nutrients out? In the same vein, digest those experiences!
Today’s #dayofgraze is about reflections. In the midst of all the travel, what a shame if you don’t sit down in a quiet place, switch on some Anjunadeep and reflect on what you have learned. Think of yourself, ruminate on those conversations had and consider your learnings. Consolidate that journey and digest those experiences before you move onto the next.
Pictured here is a beautiful lake I visited in Canada, during a hike in the Crawford Lake conservation area. It urges me to stop and reflect on my travel experiences quite like how it reflects on itself. It reminds me to think of the cow I was before I started the journey and the cow I am becoming. It helps me see the gains and losses (not just because of #4tummythursday) and what I take with me to the next place. It lets me digest!