NOBULL TRAVEL | 13 FEBRUARY, 2018
NoBull Travel: Week of 12 February
An occasional travelogue.
As a spirited cow mooving through this chaotic world, I decided to take livestock of myself and go on a grand journey around the world. A journey that would take me to places old and new, a journey to discover and most importantly a journey without any bull(s)
In this humour travelogue, expect to see travel tips, misadventures, chewing of cud, food recommendations and reflections as this lone cow navigates her life outside the proverbial cow shed.
Monday: #AdventureMissMonday at Singapore, Singapore
Change is the only cownstant and so let’s pay heed to the universe and change things up a bit!
Starting this week, you’ll see some new cowntent and schedules for the world travelling bovine.
Let’s begin with #misadventureMonday, let’s flip this around and celebrate travel stories of triumph, fear facing and positivity instead! Presenting #AdventureMissMonday a day of recownting amazing adventures had across the galaxy! Some silly, some profound but always with #nobull added.
Today’s let’s talk about riding roller coasters in Singapore. As a bovine prone to motion sickness and rattly nerves, you won’t catch me dead on wild rides from the fearsome roller coaster to the lowly river ferry.
But on this #adventuremissmonday, I had to change that. Faced with the possibility of sitting out ride after ride with farmily, I decided to stop being a calf and face any motion sickness, visions of vomit or general queasiness. I’ll never forget that first ride, sitting right up front at the battlestar gallactica ride, Cylon. It starts out simple enough, then a sudden and massive acceleration and you’re off. Spinning, flying, screaming and laughing! As the most intense 5 minutes of your day come to an end, I looked to my cownterpart and said
“Wow! I kept my eyes open for at least a few seconds!” He looked visibly unimpressed and cownvinced I needed to try it again and again!
And so the day was spent riding roller coasters, looking fear in the face and saying “I’ll take the front row please”. With each ride I opened my eyes for longer, let go of fears more and learned that all the stomach flips in the world can’t cowmpare to a mind ready to try new things!
Tuesday: #Cowabouthat? at Rome, Italy
Today’s discowery is about the truth, a truer version of it anyways! When you travel, look forward to busting myths, taking names and always always be ready to change your opinions.
Today we travel to roma to be more true to your favourite slaughterhouse and mine, the colosseum (I calf, I enjoy no slaughterhouses!) As you round the street that leads up to the mighty amphitheater, prepare to gasp! It is way more than you had imagined and that’s a spectacular feeling.
The first thing I learn is that I didn’t even know its name! The Flavian amphitheater, as it prefers to be called, was built to delight and distract the masses. Through gore, games and gladiators, the Flavian rulers won favours from their subjects. The cowloseum really got called so because of the collosal statue of nutty Nero that stood at its entrance. Imagine that! It’s like that friend whose nickname becomes their actual name.
Next, I learned all the horrors of the grand arena, that didn’t make the director’s cut of Gladiator. I so wanted to believe that gladiators like Russel Crowe existed! Not quite. Gladiators back in the day were short, pudgy and lived quite the deplorable life. Not quite possessing the glamour quotient of Maximus, commander to the armies of the north. Entertainment meant wild animals chomping on unwilling humans during lunch. What a role reversal! In this 80,000 seater, special attention was given to ensuring women sat in the most nosebleed inducing seats and don’t even get me started on the bathrooms!
All in all, a lot of discoweries about the world’s most famous amphitheater, some more #4tummy turning than others! But at least I walked away with a far more accowrate picture than the one I had! Travel is the best reality check! #cowabouthat?
Wednesday: #Cowmera at Florence, Italy
Change is upon us yet again! Time to rejig the travel itinerary.
From #DutyfreeforHumpDay, we change things up to #cowmera. A day to celebrate all the beauty in this moortal coil. Showcasing a beautifully cowptured photograph taken on my travels, every week to astound and wow you. All pictures cowmposed by #nobulltravel using a cowmera of course! No Bellerophon needed.
Pictured today is phenomenal Firenze. That jewel of rebirth in the Italian crown. That tiny town of endless wonder. Here we are at Ponte Vechio at sunset enjoying a quiet moment wrestled away from the tourists.
The burnt orange sky, the tranquil Arno, the dark outlines and the timelessness of this moment. #cowmera
Thursday: #4TummyThursday at Paris, France
If you’re looking for tips on Intermittent fasting, you’ve come to the wrong place! Its #4TummyThursday on #NobullTravel. A day of feasting, food and fabulous finds!
Today we discuss one of my favourite cowmfort foods. I never ate a more flat round food that could transform faster than Optimus prime. The Humble crepe! Of origins French but of appeal, global!
The crepe is my go-to snack and supper when I am in Paris. Perfect food for the budget minded bovine. Eat a savoury crepe with Emmental, Jambon and herbs as you watch the rain beat down those Parisien streets. Use a fork and knife to dissect your crepe surgically for a medically proven degustation. And when you’re done, know that the crepes are hardly done with you! Order a sweet one for Dessert! Go with the dark mistress, Nutella for an absolute sinful tummy tuck. My favourite though? The lemon sugar! The tangy, sweet light delight to launch you headfirst into a cheery mood! Pictured here is my delightful sucre citron devoured greedily within seconds of the photo.
What I love most about the crepe is its versatility! Here’s an adaptable and flexible food if you ever saw one. Eat it alone or with friends at a crepe party. Eat it savoury or sweet. Eat it with cutlery or go #handeaten. Go out or build your own in the cowmfort of your kitchen. In the midst of all these modalities lies the true power of the crepe.
Partake in the most fabulous pancake! Perfectly primed for your #4Tummies on this Thursday.
Friday: #TheCowShed at Pondicherry, India
You can check in any time you like, but we prefer you check out by 1 PM! Its #thecowshed for Friday’s, a day of review of my accowmodation!
Today we discuss the French Riviera, east of the French Riviera, the wonderful Pondicherry! A few hours from Chennai and a few planets away from what you’re used to! My favourite place to stay when I’m in Pondy (That’s what we regulars call it!) is Villa Helena. A charming little heritage guest house for a perfect little weekend or two.
The #NoBullTravel review featuring what I liked (The Moo) and What I didn’t (The Beef)
* Atmosphere: This place has great character and in its high ceilings, green coloured walls, alfresco seating and French press coffee, you can really escape all that city cacophony.
* Location, Location, Location: Right smack in the middle of the French quarter of Pondicherry, Villa Helena is the perfect place to begin and end all your days of slow amble and large eats
* Social Quotient: Villa Helena seems to attract travellers of all shapes, sizes and species so why not engage denizens with social activities?
Final Recowmendation: 4 Hoofs up! Live a most peaceful tropical existence in a cowlonial house with cowality service and vibe.
Saturday: #WeekendMilkTip at Destination Anywhere
It’s the weekend so time to earn some tips! Its the #weekendmilktipfrom #NoBullTravel. Today we learn to create a cowmon index for your travel experiences.
When I like to travel, I like to centre myself on one cowmon experience and see how each destination changes it ever so slightly. Just like enjoying #Dutyfreestoresall over the world, I also like to enjoy a steaming dark beverage wherever I go. Quite like the #BigMacIndex, I have created the #Cowfeeindex that I maintain on my travels.
Find a cafe or restaurant nearby and order yourself a cowfee. I like my coffee like I like my puns, strong and like a slap in the face! Observe the prices, the aromas, the colours and the way its served. Some cups are large, some come with cake, some leave you jittery while others just hit the spot. Some you drink in the morning, some cost you an leg and a tail, some give you great ideas and others make you sleep!
Here are my worldly cuppas.
In Istanbul, the cowfee packs a 1-2 punch and is served with a glass of water to ensure you’re not knocked out! In Siena, pour some water into that espresso and make it an Americano to cownsume on the street. In Melbourne, perhaps the cowfee capital of the world, call your Americano a long black and enjoy one in a laneway filled with graffiti.
Once the Cowfee is done, you’re on your way again to discower the city.
For me its cowfee, for you it could be tea, dessert or even beer! A cowmon item in different cowntexts around the world to help you cowculate your own experience power parity!
Sunday: #DayofGraze at Blue Mountains, Australia
Today is the Sunday funday or in NoBull parlance, the #dayofgraze
Today we go for a long hike with friends. As you grow older and aged, one can hardly only rely on the habits of calfdom to tickle the senses. Mix it up and stay in for a Saturday night to enjoy the pleasures of a long day with nature on Sunday.
If you are down in Sydney, wake up early and jump on the train. Pass delightfully different named stations like “Warrimoo” and “Paramatta” to find yourself at “Katoomba”. From here we make our way to the famed blue mountains. Spend a few minutes at the famed three sisters but with all the tourists around, there’s no need to get too familial.
Choose the Darwin trail and begin a cowlourful afternoon of walk and talk. Traverse quaint wooden bridges, tread carefully through slushy paths, climb down century old stone steps and all the while discows all things topical, tropical and comical. Reaching your step count was never this much fun! See green, blue and yellow as you take in the pictured landscape. Climb down to Wentworth waterfalls and get a little river spray. Take selfies in the sun and talk about the latest disaster from the DC film universe.
End the day with burgers and beer, that classic. Cheer to your good health (11 KM will ensure that!) and end your day with well earned carbohydrates. That’s how we graze in Australia.