Where Beef Jerky Spells Death, And Witchcraft Defies Space Travel

Has the news been reading kind of bizarre to you lately? Do you find yourself repeatedly losing connect with the true meaning behind what your see and hear? Then worry not. You are simply being governed by the NDA government.

It seems as though the Achhe Din of Modi Sarkar are tightly balanced on a very fine rope of trickery. It’s almost like a magic show where the audience is neatly confused by a display of intricate word play and well-practiced sleight of hands.

If one MUST have examples then look at what Mr. PM did to us with Mark Zuckerberg there. A carefully played dice that killed two birds at one go. Modi became a hero partying with the white kids at Silicon Valley while he got us to sign up for Internet.org the easy way. Ghee seedhe haath se naa nikle toh ungli teri karni padti hai! And since when did evoking patriotism become a crime?

Well one can keep musing over that but the news has moved on to dinner parties. Not the kinds we know of with yumm food and a lot of chatter. This one instead is on the roads, in the unknown, during the night; a more dangerous sort of dinner where you can get killed for eating the wrong dish off the menu.

You had beef jerky for dinner? Come let us rip you open.

And then once you are dead you can ponder over the protectors of the nation talking about sword wielding ‘innocent children’ and other such profound things. Who would have thought of a ban having such graphic implications so soon!

But that however is how it’s going to be because we all voted like that Tata tea advertisement asked us to. We are smart and aware citizens armed with voter’s ID cards.

But hey if you are losing interest in these stories because you know… they are way too serious to worry about then how about some witchcraft? I see I got your attention back.

If you have only been hearing about all the swanky achievements of ISRO and India reaching for the stars then you clearly aren’t reading the rest of the newspaper. Recently in Assam, a 60 year old woman was beheaded for allegedly practicing witchcraft while a 5 year old boy lost his head in a human sacrifice ritual in Andhra Pradesh followed by the accused being set on fire promptly by those who didn’t like the act. Our sense of justice prevails.

And our parents thought times will really change by the time we grew up. We seemed to have really disappointed all the science-fiction writers who thought that by 2015 we would be all going to work in flying cars.