The other day, I received a notice to attend a Special General Body Meeting of The Happyman’s Cooperative Housing Society Blocks A & B, where I reside. Giving it no second glance, I consigned it to my dustbin. I had tickets to the movie, Pathaan, and I wasn’t missing it for anything.

This morning, I met my next-door neighbor, Mr. Cyrus Byramji Puranafurniturewala. He is well known in our society for taking up various causes. The one that gained him instant recognition was his earnest plea to the honorable Prime Minister for requesting access to Pegasus.

He was carrying a wad of papers. Pulling out one, he said with a wink, “We did it. Here are the minutes of the SGBM. Pity you missed the most important meeting we have ever held.”

I sat down to tuck into my special oatmeal dosa and to glance through the minutes. They read:

Agenda item 1

Many members of society have lost significant money in Adani stocks over the last week due to one Hindenburg report. Members must debate and take appropriate action through vote.

After due discussion, it was resolved that:

A letter of condemnation will be issued by the Society soundly denouncing the said report as malicious, seditious, inflammatory, and tantamount to interference in the affairs of a sovereign nation.

A petition will be sent to the government, requesting for urgent monetary support from PM Care Fund to offset losses incurred in Adani stocks by Sarla Bhen, Mrs. Braganza, and Pushpa Aunty. It will further request for some ex-gratia funds for all members to enable them to invest in the Public Offer of Adani Enterprises.

A Memorandum of Suggestions will also be sent to the government offering ideas to solve the present crisis. These suggestions will include:

Possible merger of Adani group with Ambani group

Change of name of merged company to Amrit group of companies

Award of a slew of new projects to the Amrit group, in areas of Agriculture, Defense, Surveillance and National Security, to inspire further confidence in the nation becoming a Vishwaguru.

Appropriate Penalties to be issued to those members not acting in the National Interest. These will include confiscation of Parking Slots and denial of Garbage Collection services.

Agenda item 2

To consider immediate action for urgent repairs of the building and allot contracts for the same. This was pending since two meetings.

The Managing Committee requested for more time to provide the necessary information. This item will be taken up at the next meeting.

The meeting was duly concluded with a round of applause, a vote of thanks for the Managing Committee and some samosas and wafers sponsored by our local MLA, Shri Narendrabhai Phadnis.

As I reached out for a bite of my Oatmeal Dosa, a fat drop of water fell on me. And it turned into a quick shower. I looked above. The roof was leaking buckets!

Chandru Chawla meanders through life attempting satires like the one above). Views expressed are the writer’s own.